Eevee

as a F2P i got 3 vests and at least 3 monkeys, and i am only rank 10

ALL HAIL THE LORD OF SYMMETRY!

Spam is not SPAM

Why do you make so many text walls?

equal

Note: This is a long topic. Don't say that I didn't warn you. This is the warning, so you have definitely been warned. 
 
The Dialogue
Hangar
(Receive) "This place.. It feels familiar yet so foreign. ... Hmm? Who might you be, human? My.. Pilot? ... Has it been so long since my passing? Very well.. I shall join you on your quest. I might regain what I've lost that way."
(Viewing) "Pilot.. Do you request my assistance for anything that troubles you? ... Just ensuring my wellbeing? Ah.. Thank you for your concern but my current vessel will not fail on me that easily."
(Idle) "Take as much time as you please, pilot. A good fighter must take any chance they can get to clear their mind. That way.. They won't break under the pressure of conflict when the time comes."
(Task Received) "The Overlo-... The...High Command has provided us with more missions to complete. They may prove beneficial to our development."
(Task Complete) "I'm.. Not used to being accommodated for following orders. You may have the spoils that are given to us."
 
Armory 
(Equip; Common Item) "Hmm.. This object feels hollow on the inside.. Like it has lost the power that it originally held within. A good fighter must take any means to make themselves stronger, however, so I shall use this to its fullest potential."
(Equip; Rare Item) "I can sense a bit of power trapped within it.. I shall harness that power to become stronger, even if it's underlooked by many."
(Equip; Epic Item) "I can feel a strange synergetic bond between this item and I.. Perhaps we share a similar origin."
(Equip; Legendary Item) "... This item feels like it wishes to unleash something held within. I will use it and let its voice be heard by those who get in our way."
(Equip; Mythical Item) "A powerful connection is surging between us.. I will be sure to use it without waste."
(Equip; Divine Item) "...! This power-... It reminds me of a time long forgotten, when I was amongst the gods of this world and feared by many. I will seek retribution for the treacherous act that he has inflicted upon me and show him what it truly means to be a god!"
(Equip; Premium Item) "This item shines brightly.. But not all things that shine best those that bear signs of endurance through hardship. Only a test of strength will part the truth from the deception."
(Equip; Heat Item) "I don't feel like I have any sort of connection with this item at all.. But my vessel's heart beats in sync with the heart of it. Interesting.."
(Equip; Physical Item) "This reminds me of my old self.. Strong, fearless, and with only one purpose -- To destroy everything that gets in the way."

(Equip; Energy Item) "A rage burns within this but it's nothing like anything that I've felt before. I have a bad feeling about using such a thing but we must take risks if we want to become stronger."
(Equip; Drone) "A combat companion..? Hmm.. I've never had assistance whenever I would carry out tasks in the past.. But seeing my current state.. I believe that I may need whatever assistance I can get if I am going to survive in this strange incarnation of a world I once known."
(Equip; Charge) "What a peculiar device.. I've seen many enemies use this device during some engagements that I've partaken in.. But not once have I tried to utilize something of its kind."
(Equip; Hook) "An anti-artillery harpoon.. This was a device commonly used by many to combat the likes of targets that relied on range to cause destruction.. Albeit the minor alterations that it seems to have gone through."
 
Mission
(Viewing the Map) "The terrain looks so familiar but so foreign.. Has the war's revival sparked these occurrences of change..?"
(Idling) "With the amount of enemy outposts set up in the local regions, I understand if you need some time to think about our next move.. Even if our time is short, we must use that time without fault to avoid waste and potential failure."
(Viewing Mission Details) "Our enemy is likely expecting opposition.. Pilot, if you wish to carry out the assault, I shall carry out your order to the best of my ability. You have my word and my loyalty."
(Entering Mission; Normal) "Only a fool would challenge a god of destruction with words that they cannot solidify with actions."
(Entering Mission; Hard) "Even if you wear looks of intimidation, there is no way to hide the sense of fear that lies within. Come forth and show me what you've got."
(Entering Mission; Insane) "You've managed to gain my attention.. Now, let us see if you can manage to withstand the wrath of the one true God Mode."
(Mission Victory) "One more threat vanquished.. And one step closer to getting my revenge."
(Mission Defeat) "Pilot.. Apologies for not meeting your expectations.. I shall try to do better next time."
(Revive) "My heart beats with an open flame once more; It is time for us to push forth and show what we're truly capable of!"
 
Combat
(Entering Combat; Buggy) "Even the smallest of threats can become the greatest of nightmares, pilot.. Stay alert."
(Entering Combat; Tank) "A pseudo mech form with the heart of a mech but the form of a simple vehicle.. This world truly has changed to an interesting degree."
(Entering Combat; Mech) "I have never seen what the Evil Army had to offer.. Seeing how I was used for rearline destruction and sabotage missions. I suppose I can test what this mechform has to offer now that it lies before me."
(Entering Combat; Mission Boss) "So this is what the Overlord has prepared in place of my old comrades and I.. Very well, they shall fall as quickly as they came into being."
(Taking Damage; Minimal) "Underestimating the capabilities of mechforms is a fatal mistake.."
(Taking Damage; Minor) "I shall not falter from attacks such as these.. Even if you try."
(Taking Damage; Major) "... Perhaps I underestimated you.."
(Taking Damage; Critical) "The.. Vessel is unable to withstand any more hits like this.."
(Destruction) "The vessel.. Is failing.. Pilot.. Eject immediately!"
 
Extras
(Unique 1; Encountering Bigboy) "You remind me of someone I once knew.. But I know that you're just a mere copy made from the Overlord's desperation. No matter.. You will meet a demise similar to that of the being you were made to mimic."
(Unique 2; Encountering Windigo) "Time has really affected the both of us.. Hasn't it, old friend? Now.. it's time I showed you the fruits of your betrayal and the suffering that you've put me through!"
(Unique 3; Encountering Zarkares) "Even when you nearly met your end by my hand, you still have learned nothing about what it is to be a true death machine.."
(Unique 4; Encountering Avenger) "Ah.. Engine.. You surely have changed since our encounter long ago. Now then.. Show me the extent of the power that you have received during my absence."
(Unique 5; Encountering Archimonde) "The samurai makes a long awaited return to the battlefield.. Let's see if your swordsmanship still deserves the name that it once wielded."
(Unique 6; Encountering GrimReaper) "The hellfire has lost its heat, it seems.. Although.. I am curious of what your new form is capable of."
(Unique 7; Encountering Molten Platinum Vest) "Your aura reminds me of something.. Yet I cannot put the pieces together to figure what it is.. Perhaps this battle will clear my mind and show me what I'm forgetting."
(Unique 8; Encountering Naga) "How could this be? A member of the Galaxius Trio survived the war..? I'm impressed.. But now it's time for you to be laid to rest.."
(Unique 9; Encountering another Brutality) "The Overlord must be desperate to create such low-grade copies of me.. I'll show my appreciation by using you as an example."
(Unique 10; Rare occurrence from Idling in Hangar for 15+ minutes) [to self] "I must get stronger.. I require strength if I wish to preserve my existence for a while longer.. My vessel will eventually deteriorate to the point that it will be unusable if I do not improve it soon. Times were much more simple when I was still in possession of my body.. If it wasn't for that backstabbing-.. Sigh.. This is not the time for me to dwell on the past. I must focus on the future for my pilot's sake and for my own. The time for vengeance will come eventually.." 
 
 
 
 
 
 

ALL HAIL THE LORD OF SYMMETRY!

ALL HAIL THE LORD OF SYMMETRY!

nope nothing

i think they mean how is this a bug/issue

This is how you boost 🤡

What sort of voice should I read this in?

https://youtu.be/9nALCHzuf0w

You thought that OKI DOKI was going to reply to your post with a nice but it was me, Whiteout!
 
 
N          I          C          E          .

It's so easy to say "add items".

So it's not only me!

i think Alexander the CEO said Alexander the bot was probably named after him as he was one of the early game testers or something

Oh, so it's more like a war robots type battle system.
Confetti Brick...
 

And it has a relatively high heat cost as well.

I play Champions Online, Bloons Tower Defense 5, Bloons Monkey City, Voxiom.io, and Zombs Royale, and occasionally other games as well.

And it has a relatively high heat cost as well.

This reminds me of that Team Fortress 2 video.

Final Judgement
 
The planets have aligned and their moons have followed behind
For the box has revealed itself before the mere mortal
Triggering the final judgement that would soon reveal something that is incomprehensible by any mortal's mind 
 
Despite how blessed this moment was for the box to simply just appear
The mortal became nervous as the box began to shake and the lights began to glow
They immediately took a step back and watched from a distance, refusing to go near
 
The lights perform their sacred ritual of colors, the cycle bearing no sign of mistake
But this state began to come to a halt as the lights and the box began to calm
And the final judgement will shortly show what the mortal will get to take 
 
The lights and the shaking come to the stop after the final seconds of their consistently progressive descent 
And the box ejects a glowing item that lands before the cautious mortal
But once they took a glance, the blue-glowing item that dropped from the box.. Turned out to be a major disappointment

The Introduction
Hello, everypilot and everynonpilot, Whiteout here with another How To! Why did I make a second How To? It's simply because I had fun while making the first How To.. Besides, these things are always helpful. Right?
I don't know what else to say for this introduction, so I'll just cut to the chase. Enjoy the read and don't get pickpocket'd by the Hurlbat that's hiding in your closet!
 
The Problem
Do you sometimes wonder about the anomalies of SuperMechs? The strange occurrences that appear in the corner of your eye but vanish before you could catch a glimpse of it? If you don't, congrats, you're not going crazy. However, there has been a certain.. Threat.. Lingering about in plain sight that no one, not even the great high rank gods, can detect before it's already too late. This threat is dangerous.. And it's enough to destroy any legendary hero's chance of reaching rank 24..
Your skull drone somehow learned how to quack and has developed a thing for consuming massive amounts of bread.
This alone is terrifying enough as it is but it's even worse when on the battlefield. "What should I do? Why is my drone like this?! I wanted to eat that! WHY MUST YOU HURT ME IN THIS WAY", you are most certainly thinking about because I am surely a mindreader with the ability to read your mind. Don't question the legitimacy of that or I will take your card and up the price for mind readings specifically for you.
 
The Divine Solution
Well, now that we're back on track- I bet you're begging for a solution for this grave danger of a predicament that puts your chances at getting a boomwitch in jeopardy. Lucky for you, I know of exactly what is needed for that problem of yours! What is the divine solution? It's something that is.. Very dangerous if spoken about.. BUT if you are desperate for a solution, I shall read the forbidden words for your ears to engulf..
Your skull buddy is actually a flying bullet duck!
Is this for real? It's basically as real as the fact that you somehow mistook a Greedy as a Void and used it for long enough without realizing the fact that your buddy isn't helping. Seriously- How does someone manage to mistake a skull with a thirst for eternal vengeance for a body-less duck that wants to do nothing but consume bread for eternity? It shouldn't be hard to see the difference in value and overall design!
Quite literally, having a duck as a buddy is more superior to the likes of William Shakespeare-ing everything in sight while shouting every word of Hamlet! (Not really but still.. It's not hard to differentiate Greedy from Void.) 
Before I get pelted by Greedy mains for shaming the drone, Greedy is really just like Void.. They're both easy to counter and their damage is easily overshadowed by the top tier physical drones. It's a sad truth but at least the Greedy and Void fanbases won't war over superiority but rather, they can now come together to spite the likes of the yellow bullet shark.
 
The Closing
So, has this body of text managed to subdue the threat that was plaguing your fun journey through Drylands? If so, I'm really confused on how this has managed to be of any help. It's quite literally a joke post that was created with no initial intention of being helpful in anyway.. At least, as far as you know from what I'm telling you now. Maybe this kind of topic is really a helpful topic in the clothing of a joke topic that is said to be a joke by the author. Will you ever find out the truth about the topic's true intention? I'm not sure of that myself.
Also, make sure to show affection towards a Greedy or Void when you see one during your travels, yeah? It'll really help in giving them hope that they still have a shot of being something much greater than what they're viewed for. Donate tokens to the local Drones Support Society for a free mug and a badge that shows that you've done your part in giving drones like these two a better tomorrow.
.. And no, I won't do mindreading sessions via request because.. An appointment is required- Yes, an appointment is required! (And I definitely don't know how to mind read..)
That's all for the topic, everypilot. You may now stand for dismissal. Please exit the theater room in a single file line and show proper exiting procedure etiquette on your way out. Thank you for watching with Whiteout's Non-Existent Cinema! Please come again soon!

This is Whiteout, actually signing off without the cliche theater exit.
 

Warning: If you have any allergies to the likes of long topics, this is a good point for you to cease progression and escape while you still haven't read this topic. Why? It's a long topic and you might get an allergic reaction from reading it. What's the symptoms? They're quite simply headache, eye soreness, boredom, sporadic spaceouts, 3D word-pop hallucinations, firm belief in worshiping Greedy, and the feeling that you're looking at a long topic.
If you do have such an allergy and do not wish to experience the listed symptoms, turn back now.
If you don't have an allergy of that kind or have that kind of allergy but you're a masochist that loves a challenge and wants to read this anyway, feel free to go on ahead.
 
But don't say I didn't warn you..
 
The Introduction
Hello, everypilot, Whiteout here with another topic but with a topic that is much different than the one I created a short while before this one.
For those who already know what this topic is about from reading my Torso Dialogue (Idea) - The Return topic that I made before my silence period, I have actually decided to start the idea and with Zarkares as the first torso to get a dialogue set (at least, a dialogue set that I think would fit Zarkares). Shoutout to @Spam for suggesting Zarkares for the first torso and @Tirreggregars for suggesting Zarkares's personality.
For those who have no idea what I'm talking about, here's a link to the original topic that pretty much explains the key points of what this whole thing is about.
And now.. It's time for the first ever dialogue set idea topic to be posted on these forums (if it's not, consider this claim to be a hype strategy).
 
The Dialogue
Hangar
(Receive) "Who are you supposed to be? My pilot..? I'm afraid you've got the wrong mech. ..Hmm? Wait- What do you mean I don't have a choice?! Urgh.. Fine! I guess I'm stuck with you for the time being.. But you better not be worse with your piloting skills than you do with your looks."
(Viewing) "What're you looking at? Oh? Came to check up on me? Heh.. I knew you couldn't resist my charm. Unlike those toys that you humans call mechs, I'm the real deal. I've got a heart of fire and a hull of solid platinum steel, so your pathetic self can rely on me to get any job done."
(Idle) "Pilot.. Just what in the hell are you waiting for? It's surely worth the wait if you're keeping me from slaughtering weaklings on the battlefield! If it's not worth the wait, get off your sorry behind and let's get going already!"
(Task Received) "What.. Is this supposed to be? A list of errands? Pfft.. I'm not some caretaking drone. Let those lazy rats get their stuff done on their own. Why? Because I've got better things to do, obviously! Like.. Imagining myself tearing a bunch of lowlifes apart in the midst of a battle to the death.. Yeah, that's definitely more important!"
(Task Complete) "Huh.. Is this what we really get for all our efforts..? Lame! I've seen better heaps of scrap from the dryla- Wait- Is that a scrap of titanium?! Give it to me! I crave the shiny artifact of reflections!"
 
Armory
(Equip; Common Item) "Excuse me- What is this thing? It's pathetic. What do you mean "it's the best you got"? Surely you've got something more enticing than this."
(Equip; Rare Item) "Sigh.. I know that I'm a rare find and all.. But this is not the kind of rare that I was born for. Get the hint already."
(Equip; Epic Item) "Not bad for human engineering but that doesn't make this my most favorite gun. Just saying."
(Equip; Legendary Item) "This gun ain't so bad.. Hell, I might just take this thing for a night on the drylands."
(Equip; Mythical Item) "Woah- How's this thing considered legal around these parts?! Come on, we've gotta show this baby off immediately!"

(Equip; Divine Item) "Field Certified, you say? Heh heh.. May the Blessed Mechs from the Beyond have mercy on our enemies.. Because once I start shooting, they'll be begging for it."
(Equip; Premium Item) "So you've got a taste in tech after all, eh? Hah.. I can get used to this sort of life."
(Equip; Heat Item) "This thing really puts the fire in firepower. Let's give our enemies one hell of a bad time, shall we?"
(Equip; Physical Item) "Oh ho ho! Now this is what I call heavy artillery! .. What do you mean I can't do that? Stop being a drag and let me appreciate this moment."
(Equip; Energy Item) "I know you understand how excellent I am at everything but come on, this type of stuff is better at dropping flies than dropping actual targets!"
(Equip; Drone) "Why did you give me this.. Thing? I doubt it's useful. Eh? Do I know what it's for? Of course I do! It's.. Uh.. Eh.. A..? Sigh.. Ok, fine, I'll give.. Just this once because you asked nicely-"
(Equip; Charge) "I didn't expect to get this but I guess violent ramming is just as good as hot lead.. Now I just need a target to smash into a pulp. Pilot, want to volunteer? I won't hit you that hard, I promise. No? .. Talk about a buzzkill."
(Equip; Hook) "It may be fun to blow some poor scrap heaps up but I enjoy tearing their engines out just as much! Time to shoot something with this thing!"
 
Mission
(Viewing the Map) "What so interesting about a map? There's far more interesting things to do than to just look at that! .. Huh? It helps us find battles..? Well- Why didn't you say that before gawking at it?!"
(Idling) "What's taking you so long to choose? It can't be that hard to choose a good battle.. I mean, look! There's this weird looking thing that we could pummel into dus- And it mo- Ok, now it's gone.. That could've been something good, you know!"
(Viewing Mission Details) "Not impressed. I've faced far worse and even those things couldn't stop me! .. Alright, maybe I screwed up that one time in the past and almost got myself scrapped.. BUT it's not that big of a deal now that I'm still kicking and feeling alive!"
(Entering Mission; Normal) "Only one step in and this place is already depressing to look at! Where's the challenge?!"
(Entering Mission; Hard) "Not the best place I've been to but these scrap heaps look decent enough for a beating."
(Entering Mission; Insane) "Now this is unfair! How are these heaps allowed to mock my superiority?! Just wait 'till I shred them to pieces..!"
(Mission Victory) "They thought they got what it took to challenge me? Pfft! There's a reason why no one picks a fight with an apex steelborn death machine like me!"
(Mission Defeat) "Pilot.. I've seen a lot of terrible things.. But your skills are definitely one of the worst."
(Revive) "Like a phoenix coming back from the pits of Hell, I've got a second wind and a vendetta with everyone's name on it! So come on and let's get things rolling again!"
 
Combat
(Entering Combat; Buggy) "Hah! Their first line of defense is this?! This is gonna be too easy!"
(Entering Combat; Tank) "So they're stepping up their game, huh? I was getting bored with those buggies, anyway."
(Entering Combat; Mech) "About time they showed up.. I was about to think that they fled like cowards. Now then, let's get this battle rolling!"
(Entering Combat; Mission Boss) "The head honcho's finally here.. Heh heh.. It's about time I've finally got a chance to show what I can really do! Bring it on!"
(Taking Damage; Minimal) "Hey-! Don't scratch my paint if you're just gonna be throwing petty jabs at me!"
(Taking Damage; Minor) "You call that a hit? I didn't even feel a thing!"
(Taking Damage; Major) "Hggn.. Come on, is that all you got?! I can take a heavier beating than that!"
(Taking Damage; Critical) "You think this hurts me..!? I'm an army of one and I'll keep slaughtering even if I'm outta ammo, so hit me with everything you've got!"
(Destruction) "No- No no no NO! I'm the ultimate tool of destruction-! How is this gonna be the way I fa-!?"
 
Extras
(Unique 1; Idle while Viewing then Interact with Anything) "Who's the best machine? I'M the best machine! Who's got the best looks? I got the best lo-! Huh-?! Pilot- How long were you standing there?! Forget about what you just say and you better not say a single word about it from now on, got it-?!"
(Unique 2; Hangar after Battle then Idle) "Hah! I still got it! Sure, I might be getting old but none of these toys is gonna top what I've got! Never!"
(Unique 3; Encounter with another Zarkares) "What in the mech-?! How do you look like me?! Why do you look like me?! How dare you copy ME!"
 
The Closing 
So, what do you guys think about the dialogue options? Good, bad, sounds too much like dialogue? Let me know down below because feedback is appreciated. It really is. Like really really. Yes, it really is. It's so really that I ended up saying really six times in this closing. It's crazy.
But yeah, that's what I've thought up for what I think Zarkares would be like if it had a personality and respective dialogue in-game. I know that there's a lot more possible dialogue options that I haven't done here and that I could've made more dialogue per dialogue option.. But I just wanted to take a simple yet detailed route as I made this list. This dialogue is also what I think, so you don't have to agree with it if you dislike it or simply hate it for the fact that it's a topic with words on it. You could also try and create your own list of dialogue if you feel like it and you don't want to read the dialogue lists that I create. It's all for the hell of it, after all.
With that out of the way, this is the end of the topic. Stay safe and stay frosty out there, pilots, because you might never know when a Greedy is lurking under your bed.. Until next time-
This is Whiteout the Word Creator, signing off.
P.S - Did I mention that this is what I think? Also, yes, it's a long topic. A long topic indeed.